Social Anxiety

It’s normal to feel nervous before a presentation or meeting new people. But if you’re constantly worrying about how you’re being perceived, replaying conversations in your head, or avoiding social situations altogether, you may be dealing with social anxiety.

Social anxiety can quietly shape your daily life—making it hard to speak up in class or meetings, go to events, make new friends, or be yourself around others. Over time, it can shrink your world and take a toll on your confidence, relationships, and wellbeing.

The good news is: social anxiety is treatable, and therapy can help you stop fearing judgment and start reconnecting with what matters to you.

What Is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety is an intense fear of being judged, criticised, or humiliated in social or performance situations. It often involves a deep concern about saying or doing the “wrong” thing and being seen in a negative light.

Common signs include:

• Avoiding social situations (e.g. parties, meetings, dating, group activities)

• Intense worry before or after social interactions

• Fear of being the centre of attention

• Difficulty speaking up in groups or asserting yourself

• Physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, shaking, or nausea

• Replaying conversations and criticising yourself afterward

Even if others see you as competent or friendly, you may feel like you’re constantly on edge—monitoring, masking, or second-guessing everything you say.

Why Does Social Anxiety Happen?

Social anxiety is often rooted in a mix of:

• Temperament (some people are naturally more sensitive to social cues)

• Early experiences like bullying, criticism, or rejection

• Cultural pressures to appear perfect, competent, or likeable

• Self-criticism and high expectations of yourself

• A brain that’s wired to detect possible threats—even in neutral or friendly situations

Social anxiety tends to persist because of avoidance and safety behaviours. You might avoid eye contact, rehearse conversations, or stay quiet to avoid drawing attention. These strategies feel safe in the short term, but over time they reinforce the idea that social situations are dangerous and that you’re not capable of handling them.

What Therapy Can Do

Therapy for social anxiety isn’t about forcing yourself to be “outgoing” or trying to impress others. It’s about helping you build comfort in your own skin, loosen the grip of self-doubt, and reconnect with the freedom to be fully yourself—even if you’re nervous sometimes.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT is one of the most effective treatments for social anxiety. It helps you:

• Understand the thought patterns that fuel fear of judgment

• Challenge beliefs like “Everyone is watching me” or “I’ll make a fool of myself”

• Reduce safety behaviours (e.g. over-rehearsing, avoiding eye contact)

• Gently face feared situations with support and strategy

• Build self-trust and confidence through experience

A major review published in The Lancet Psychiatry (2014) found that CBT is the most effective psychological treatment for social anxiety disorder, with long-lasting benefits.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT offers a more flexible and compassionate approach, especially for people who feel stuck in shame or perfectionism. ACT helps you:

• Notice anxious thoughts without believing or fighting them

• Make room for discomfort without letting it control your choices

• Connect with your values (e.g. honesty, connection, curiosity)

• Take meaningful action—even if you’re feeling anxious

Research in Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science (2016) supports ACT as an effective treatment for social anxiety, especially when combined with exposure-based work.

What to Expect in Therapy

In therapy, we’ll work together to:

• Understand your unique anxiety triggers and coping patterns

• Learn strategies to quiet the inner critic and build resilience

• Practice tools for managing physical anxiety symptoms

• Gradually explore new behaviours in social situations (at your pace)

• Build self-compassion and freedom to be authentic, not perfect

We’ll go gently. There’s no pressure to dive into scary social situations right away—only to start where you are and move forward with curiosity and care.

Final Thoughts

You deserve to feel safe being yourself

Social anxiety can be incredibly lonely. It can make you feel like you’re the only one struggling, even in a room full of people. But many others are carrying the same fear behind confident appearances—and more importantly, there is a way through.

You don’t need to become someone else. Therapy helps you build confidence, connection, and courage as yourself.

References & Further Reading

NICE Guidelines (UK): Social Anxiety Disorder – recommended psychological treatments

Clark, D. M. et al. (2014). The Lancet Psychiatry – CBT for social anxiety: RCT results

Levin, M. E. et al. (2016). Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science – ACT for social anxiety

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH): Social Anxiety Disorder overview

Hofmann, S. G. et al. (2008). Journal of Anxiety Disorders – CBT treatment outcomes