Why Can't I Sleep?

Sleep is supposed to be the most natural thing in the world—yet so many young women find themselves staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m., scrolling their phones, or feeling exhausted but wired.

Whether you’re in university, starting your career, or juggling relationships and responsibilities, your sleep can easily take a hit. And poor sleep doesn’t just make you tired—it can affect your mood, concentration, energy levels, and overall wellbeing.

If sleep feels like a nightly battle, you’re not alone. But there are things you can do to reset your relationship with rest.

Common Sleep Struggles in Young Women

Some typical patterns include:

• Difficulty falling asleep (your mind just won’t switch off)

• Waking up during the night and struggling to fall back asleep

• Waking too early and feeling unrested

• Sleeping too much, yet still feeling tired

• Anxiety or dread about going to bed

Sleep problems can stem from many places: stress, emotional overload, poor habits, trauma, hormones, mental health challenges, or just life transitions throwing off your rhythm.

How Stress and Emotion Affect Sleep

When you’re under stress or going through emotional upheaval, your body stays in a state of alertness—even when your mind wants to rest. This is your nervous system doing its job, but it can get stuck in “go” mode.

Common sleep-disruptors include:

• Racing thoughts or emotional processing at night

• Screen time and overstimulation before bed

• Irregular routines from studying, shift work, or social life

• Anxiety about sleep itself, which creates a vicious cycle

Gentle Strategies for Better Sleep

Improving sleep doesn’t mean controlling it perfectly—it means creating conditions that invite rest.

1. Build a wind-down routine

Let your brain know that sleep is coming by doing the same few things each night: dimming lights, stretching, reading, journaling, or anything that feels soothing. Avoid screens for at least 30 minutes before bed.

2. Keep a consistent sleep window

Going to bed and waking up at roughly the same time helps regulate your internal clock—even on weekends. A steady rhythm matters more than how many hours you’re getting.

3. Make your bedroom a “rest zone”

Try to associate your bed with sleep and relaxation. If you’re lying awake for more than 20–30 minutes, it’s okay to get up and do something calming (not scrolling) before trying again.

4. Limit stimulants and alcohol

Caffeine (even in the afternoon) and alcohol can both disrupt sleep. Experiment with reducing or adjusting your intake to see if it helps.

5. Create space for worry—before bed

If your brain comes alive at night, give it airtime earlier. Try journaling or scheduling “worry time” in the evening so your thoughts don’t all pile up at 11 p.m.

6. Be kind to yourself

If sleep isn’t coming, try not to panic. Tell yourself: “Rest is still helpful. I don’t have to force anything. My body knows how to sleep—I’m just helping it get there.”

When Sleep Struggles Run Deeper

Sometimes, chronic sleep issues are linked to:

• Anxiety or depression

• Trauma or unresolved stress

• ADHD or sensory sensitivity

• Grief or life transitions

• A dysregulated nervous system

• Recurrent nightmares

If this sounds like you, counselling can help you explore what’s keeping your system on high alert and support you in finding calm again.

Therapy and Sleep

In therapy, we can work on:

• Understanding the emotional roots of sleep issues

• Rewiring patterns of worry or overthinking

• Calming your nervous system through grounding tools

• Releasing pressure and perfectionism around sleep

• Building self-trust around rest and recovery

Sleep is not just a biological function—it’s emotional, relational, and deeply tied to how safe we feel in our own bodies.

A Final Word

Sleep struggles don’t make you weak or “bad at adulting.” They’re a sign that something in your system needs support and gentleness—not more pressure.

You deserve rest. Not just because it makes you productive or presentable—but because you are a human being with needs. Sleep is not a luxury. It’s a form of care.